Studio Diary: May 10, 2024
A granular piano exploration, Sound Methods's first birthday, and some thoughts on burnout
It’s been a long time since I’ve able to prepare a Studio Diary post on here, but I’ve finally got one to share today. The long delay is mostly due to the fact that I’ve been struggling with massive burnout these last few months. A little about this below, if you’ll indulge me…
On burnout
Since roughly December of 2023, making music has felt like a chore. It’s simply not been easy or fun for me to sit down and hit “record.” I’m glad to report that creative energy seems to be returning, at least in small doses, but it’s been a struggle to get here.
A combination of things hit me around the start of the new year: first and foremost, sleep deprivation has genuinely and negatively affected my day-to-day life (I guess you could also just call this “a physical byproduct of parenthood with twins”). Most days are a little foggy for me at this point. Prior to having kids, I was able to deal with reduced sleep, but I’m coming to grips with the fact that my body needs different things at this point in my life. The main thing it needs right now is more rest, whether it’s sleep or just simply shutting off my thinking brain for an extended period. It’s weird to physically feel myself aging like this, but I’m now more in touch with my mind and body and I’m not going to put pressure on myself to overdo anything. This has been a huge challenge, especially as someone who has historically worked at a relentless pace.
Second, I expended a huge amount of effort on my last album and I’ve not been able to fill myself up again. I poured out a lot more energy into it than I even realized at the time, and now I’m left feeling a bit empty (no pun intended given the title).
I’m trying to feel out where I go next with my music. “Ambient” (at least as I’ve performed and recorded it in the past) feels pretty tired and uninteresting to me at this point, and while I have a lot of conceptual loose ends in my head that I’m tempted to grab at in pursuit of something different, the thought of starting a new album from scratch right now feels incredibly daunting and overwhelming. I’m not going to rush anything. Instead, I’ve been enjoying having conversations with other artists on the Sound Methods podcast and considering other people’s artwork while I wait to see where my own artistic brain decides to go. Hosting the podcast and consuming other work has kept me from getting too jaded and cynical about my own creative frustrations.
Finally, I returned to my day job after several months of parental leave back in February, and the adjustment to my daily schedule and responsibilities has been jarring, to say the least. I no longer have the time or energy I once did to be creative, and my whole schedule has been severely compressed to a half hour here, a half hour there, etc. Most opportunities I have now occur while I’m on the go, usually on the train to/from work or while fiddling on my iPad/iPhone between meetings (that’s how I’m typing right now, actually).
The bright side
Anyway, I’m not saying all this for a pity party. All things considered, I’m doing just fine, really! It’s taken some time to realize this, but I actually don’t see any of this as a necessarily bad thing. I’m starting to appreciate the time restrictions and new schedule as being somewhat beneficial for a frenetic brain like mine. Now, I have to be far more intentional and focused with the limited time I have, and learn to make choices more quickly. It’s been an interesting experience to adapt to not just a new schedule, but an entirely different way of working: short bursts of opportunity vs. endless hours of playtime.
These time constraints have also confirmed some of my previous assumptions about what’s best for my creative process, mainly that 1) I am not a person who should be collecting hardware synths or physical instruments, and 2) I love the mobility, flexibility, and immediacy of the iPadOS/iOS music-making format. Almost all of the few musical experiments I’ve attempted these last few months have been done outside of the studio on mobile devices.
I just wanted to provide an update and let you know that I’m learning to work in new ways and adapting to new limits, so the content delivery schedule may look a little weird for the foreseeable future while I try to figure it out and get my bearings. I say this because I see the stats and subscriber count on the writer’s dashboard here and on my Bandcamp subscription page every time I log in - including a big, bold tally of all the generous folks who pay to support me! - and I feel a pang of guilt or anxiety that I’m letting you down by not delivering enough. I am learning to be a little gentler on myself and work within my means to share what I can. I sincerely appreciate each one of you being along for the ride.
Happy first birthday to Sound Methods!
Maybe this is a good point at which to say that “Sound Methods” recently celebrated its first anniversary, on April 27. Time really flies.
I think I’ve done a pretty good job sticking to the original goals and objectives I laid out back then:
Some new elements like the podcast series have popped up since then, and it’s been so enjoyable to maintain this space that I’m now thinking about deleting whatever remains of my social media (Instagram + Blue Sky) so I can just do it all on here. I’ll figure that out eventually, but anyway, I’ve loved every minute of working on this project and sharing this stuff with each of you. Thank you so much for the support! It would mean the world if you’d consider subscribing or sharing with your networks.
OK, on to the music…
May 10, 2024 Performance Breakdown
The subject of this diary entry is a recent live improvisation I shared over on YouTube. The piece is performed entirely on iPad, with no extra hardware or instruments:
There are several distinct elements happening here, which I’ll detail in separate sections:
The main piano phrase processed with Borderlands Granular and a chain of filtering, delay, and reverb effects.
An effects bus that receives a copy of this audio and applies lo-fi effects for an alternate, noisy layer.
A sequenced string sample library processed with distortion and time-based effects for additional atmosphere.
A field recording from my backyard to ground the piece with natural texture.
Read on for the detailed demonstrations, descriptions of every app and technique in use, and isolated sound samples. As a way to thank the folks who support this work so generously, I will keep these studio diary posts limited to paying subscribers for the first two weeks, then open them to all readers.
1. The main piano layer
At the core of the performance is a 4.5-minute long piano phrase, which I sequenced months ago using random chord generators to play the Native Instruments Noire piano library on my laptop.
Here’s the original piano part in isolation, without pitch shifting or any effects applied. It’s in the key of C Minor:
This phrase was loaded into Borderlands Granular on iPad. I’m sure that if you’re reading this, you’re already familiar with it, but it’s an absolutely amazing piece of software that sets the standard for granular synthesis engines on iPad (and maybe any platform, period). Readers may be interested to know that I’ll have an interview with the developer, Chris Carlson, on the next episode of the Sound Methods podcast…but more on that at a later date.
I chose to zero in on a specific short section near the middle of this recording, then added 4 playback nodes in Borderlands to scan through the file with varying parameters as such:
Node 1 is a fairly dense, “higher probability” layer that is heard most often on this track. There are 24 voices possible at any given time, each of them pitched 6 semitones up to F# minor, with 6 seconds grain duration, 25% probability, and the maximum allowed 1.0 overlap setting. This results in smooth, midrange-focused playback of the original piano part. There are no short/sharp grains and each one is gently fading in and out.
Node 2 is a less dense, “lower probability” and bass-heavy layer that’s pitched down 6 semitones, so as to be 1 octave lower than Node 1. The probability is 15% and also has the same 6 seconds grain duration and 1.0 overlap for similarly smooth playback characteristics. I’ve lowered the volume slightly so it doesn’t overwhelm the main Node 1.
Node 3 is a shorter, higher layer: pitched up 18 semitones (1 octave above Node 1) with probability of 10%, duration of 3 seconds, and overlap of 1.0.
Node 4 is a copy of Node 3, but uses Borderlands’ motion recording feature to move in a circle around the entire visible waveform and catch slightly different portions of the file for a bit of different, occasional flavor. It has the lowest probability of them all, at just 5%.
The resulting mix of sounds from Borderlands was then sent through a chain of effects on Channel 1 in AUM (Borderlands is sending audio through the inter-app audio, or IAA, protocol).
Here’s the chain:
Audiomodern Gatelab: an intelligent gate effect that generates new, random gate sequences with each passing 4-bar beat. This is a highly customizable tool, but I use it most often as a way to add subtle fluctuations in the volume of static drones for variation, and also to make percussion more unpredictable and choppy. It can affect both sides of the stereo field independently for wild spatial effects, if you want, but it’s set to mono in this case.
Audio Damage Replicant 3: this is my favorite glitch-inducing effect for basically any source. Here, it adds a 20-50% chance of bit reduction, stutter, and delay on every 4th note of a sequence. I only have the effect level mixed at -12dB to keep it subtle.
AUM’s built-in LP/HP Filter: incredibly useful tool for sound design. It’s not uncommon for me to place one of these on every channel in every AUM session I start in order to quickly and easily shape sounds right away. I have it set to a subtle high pass filter to cut out the excess bass rumble from Borderlands.
FabFilter Volcano Filter: an immensely powerful filter effect, here configured in a way that lets me notch out midrange while adding a slight high cut.
Toneboosters BitJuggler: my favorite bitcrusher, used here to add subtle digital edge and distortion to the high frequency sounds from Borderlands.
Bus Send A: more on this in a bit, but this is sending pre-fader Borderlands audio to a separate lo-fi effect channel for extra texture.
Imaginando K7D Tape Delay: set to slow, high feedback, overdriven repeats for extra texture and ambience.
FabFilter Pro-R2: extremely realistic and flexible reverb. Heavy on CPU, but worth it if you can fit it in. I have it set here to a long, dark reverb with a slight low cut. The video starts with it mixed at 100% wet, and I adjust the wet mix over time with the parameter control to the left of the node in the AUM interface.
Finally, a key element to note: there are LFOs modulating this channel’s overall volume fader and the BitJuggler mix level. I use Arthur Kerns’ midiLFOs midi modulator app for this; it’s a drop-dead simple app with 4 assignable LFOs and very flexible in practice. I have it loaded all the way to the right of the session on a channel dedicated to MIDI effects.
Pro tip: on long, clunky effects chains like these, it’s very helpful to think about which parameters you’ll most often reach for within each app. AUM gives you the ability to assign your preferred parameter control to the left of the effect’s on-screen node/icon by clicking into the app and choosing a parameter from the top left menu.
This helps keep the most important controls accessible at all times, even in complex sessions like this, and is one of the main reasons why I prefer AUM for live use and general “idea-sketching” over Loopy Pro (yes, I know that you can configure widgets for this in Loopy Pro, and that’s an incredibly powerful tool that I make use of quite often…but this is easier and quicker to configure for brainstorming sessions like these, when I don’t want to waste my creative time mapping out too many MIDI controls manually).
Here’s a video demonstration of what the 4-part Borderlands layer sounds like on its own, and then processed with the effects and LFO modulations added individually:
2. The lo-fi effects bus
As I alluded to above, one of my favorite tricks in AUM is to set up multiple channels of busses, filled with varying effects, so that I can simply insert a “Bus Send” node and instantly have access to a variety of different effects chains. I can selectively mix how much of a single audio stream is sent to each bus and add subtle layers of variation to the same source sound.
Adding Bus Sends in AUM is a pice of cake, and you can also choose whether or not it’s placed pre- or post-fader. In this kind of session, I prefer to place them pre-fader so that I can route as much of the audio to the Bus as I want, regardless of the actual level of the channel.
Here’s what I’m doing in this session: I’m sending the audio of the Borderlands drone (before it has delay and reverb) to a Bus with 2 lo-fi effects and a filter so that I can blend in a hissing, noisy, warped version of the sound. I’ve got the send configured to be pre-fader so that I can send as much as I want without worrying about what level the Borderlands channel is set to. This is especially useful because the volume of that channel is being modulated by an LFO, and I want more control over how much sound to send to the lo-fi processors…independent of any LFO-controlled volume fluctuations.
The lo-fi effects are two of my favorites, both of which I’ve written about extensively on this Substack in the past:
Unfiltered Audio LO-FI-AF: this can sound completely crazy, yes, but I like LO-FI-AF the most in the subtler half of its settings. It’s perfect for adding tasteful amounts of noise, hiss, static, and digital artifacts to any sound. The variations possible with Mix level, effect strength, and automatic gain compensation (AGC) allow you to be very precise with its overall prominence in a mix.
ChowDSP Chow Tape: in my opinion, the best tape sim on iOS and maybe even MacOS, too…endless customization of precisely modeled reel-to-reel machine physics. The effect is subtle on this jam - I have an LFO modulating the amount of degradation and chew levels to add some occasional skips an hiss - but it can go from “barely there” to “utter chaos” with ease.
Combined, these two add some nice texture on top of the smooth and rounder sounds of the Borderlands drone.
Here’s what the lo-fi bus sounds like in isolation, then blended with the “normal” Borderlands channel:
3. Sequenced, distorted strings
I’ve loaded an instance of Decent Sampler on Channel 3 to mix in some orchestral samples - in this case, I’m using sounds from Dan Keen’s excellent “Soft String Spurs” library. Decent Sampler is the closest thing that iOS and iPadOS have to Kontakt, and it’s well worth exploring DS format libraries available.
The strings are being sequenced by Audiomodern Chordjam - an intelligent chord generator - which is itself being sequenced by Fugue Machine. This is my #1 tactic for getting drone beds going when I’m searching for ideas and launching pads for my ambient pieces: set up a simple sequence in Fugue Machine, send its MIDI output to Chordjam using the AUM MIDI Matrix router, and then listen to beautiful in-key chords unfold.
I’ve placed a few effects after the strings to shape them into a more artificial-sounding, synth-like, and aggressive layer:
AUM’s built-in low pass filter
FabFilter Saturn 2 distortion set to mimic a blown-out cassette with the “old tape” distortion type
Imaginando K7D Tape Delay
Phonolyth Velvet Machine, a “sonic texture generator/blur/non-linear reverb” according to the developer, that is excellent for creating massive walls of ambient sound and turning any source into thick ambient soup. It’s dialed in very subtly here, just to add some impossibly long sustain in the background.
Here’s what this part sounds like on its own:
4. Field recording
Finally, channel 4 features a field recording I captured in my backyard here at home. Some scene setting here:
Any dog owner knows that terrifying sound of a panting, huffing dog that wakes them up in the middle of the night…I heard this sound last week, when my own pup began begging to go outside at 2:30 in the morning. There was a soft rain falling and slight breeze blowing that, when combined with the eerie quiet, was really beautiful and calming. I just had to capture it for posterity. I was too tired to sit there and attend a long form recording, so I just left my old Sony PCM-M10 going for 6 hours straight and picked it up the next morning. It ended up being really pleasant to listen back to: overnight rain gave way to a beautiful explosion of bird song at dawn, but of course, the familiar hum and drone of morning traffic eventually crept in.
Anyway, I really liked the texture of the rainfall and the rustling leaves. I’ve joked with friends that my hard drive is mostly “leaves in breeze.wav” files, and here I’ve added another 6 hours to the collection…but I mostly employ field recordings as a way to add natural elements to otherwise unnatural sounds, and ground my work in some form of humanity or personal feeling. I’m not too interested in hyperreal, perfect accuracy when I record; I just want to grab particular textures and preserve the memory of moments in my life, so that my otherwise ethereal music doesn’t feel entirely divorced from reality.
Here’s a snippet of the recording, uninterrupted and unprocessed, in case you’re interested to hear it. I’ve got a high-pass filter on the channel in the performance video so that I can cut some of the low end rumble you hear.
Other bits & pieces
That’s the gist of the performance, as well as my thoughts behind each layer. The only other thing to note that I haven’t touched on yet is the Master channel: each track is sent to Bus B, which houses a trio of FabFilter effects to polish the track: Pro-Q3 EQ, Pro-C2 Compressor, and Pro-L2 limiter for loudness. I don’t touch this channel in the performance video, but thought I should mention it for the sake of completeness.
As I mentioned at the top, most of my work these days occurs in 30-minute bursts of opportunity. The iPad is the perfect tool for these moments…more often than not, 30 minutes is plenty of time to sketch an idea that I can take back for workshopping later. I’ve started to accumulate a few of these little live performances based on that original piano phrase; I’ve been pitch shifting and isolating different sections of it each time, and I’m liking what I’ve come up with. We’ll see where it goes from here!
Thanks again for supporting Sound Methods. I’m deeply appreciative of your time and attention. Don’t hesitate to reach out with questions or comments - I’m all ears.
(by the way, if anything here strikes you as something you’d like to learn more about, please feel free to schedule some dedicated time, too! it’s been great to meet some of you this way.)
Hi Andrew - Another awesome tutorial/demo - my profound thanks. What I like best about these videos (even if I'm repeating myself from an earlier comment) is that having the iOS equivalent of a "fixed rack" already set up at the beginning of the video, which you then go through and explain and show in detail, track by track, node by node, setting by setting, is immensely valuable to folks like me who want to figure this all out and make our own ambient music on iPad. It would take me years and years to research and figure this all out on my own. So I'm really grateful for that and would deeply appreciate more content of this kind going forward. Thanks again, Frank
p.s. - Your comments about the effects of being a new parent really resonated with me. I'm quite a bit older than you so what you're going through now I went through years ago with my own two kids, but I do really recall the ongoing effects of sleep deprivation when they were babies, so I totally empathize (although what a fantastic reason to be tired all the time, no?). If I can offer any consolation - I'm sure you know this but I'll mention it anyway - it does get easier over time. Day by day the little ones are working hard on becoming more self sufficient. And then one day you wake up and you realize your kid just turned 21 and is driving their own car to go meet some friends for a beverage. And you realize you have your time back and nobody depends on you so much anymore. That's when you can pat yourself on the back and say "We did it, job well done". :-)
Dear Andrew,
Thank you for such a personal post. I can relate very well with all the personal questions that come to mind concerning the lack of time and mental exhaustion since becoming a parent. Our lives change from that moment, nothing will be as it was before, but all the love we receive is more important then everything. The challenge is to find a balance between all the aspects of our lives that makes us feel fulfilled.
Personally, let me tell you to don't feel bad for not delivering more content to your subscribers. Take your time, enjoy those unique moments with those you love. Only good things to us all can come from that.
On to the music, always a brilliant and inspirational piece. Thanks for being so open mind about the insights of the process.
I totally agree with you on the perception of the iPad as a powerful on-the-go tool. That was exactly what I felt the first time I understood the possibilities. An amazing way to stay creative using those moments in between duties.
Happy birthday to Sound Methods! To it, to you and your family, many years of success!
Cheers!